Maybe you'll make some friends in the process. Please don't hesitate to message us for any reason, we're not that scary. Posts that derail discussion with the deliberate intent of provoking other users will be removed:. How do gay people find other gay people? The title is phrased strangely, but here's my issue: I am a lesbian, and have only discovered this recently 1. I want to start dating but have no idea how to know if another girl is gay.
There's a trend among young straight women to kiss each other on the cheek and sit in each others laps and I cannot tell you how confusing that is! I've tried dating apps but they are not for me. People there want to hook up, and I'm looking for a relationship. I've tried looking out for lesbian fashion cues but where I live, everyone wears that stuff. I know I could just ask them if they are gay but I don't feel comfortable doing that and worry that I will scare away friends. That seems to be the only real way to meet other gay people.
It sucks I easily pass for straight. Nobody ever knows I'm gay until I actually tell them. And to make matters worse, my "gay-dar" is horrible and unless you are super flamboyant and stereotypically gay, I can't tell either. Its the worst, right? Online dating sucks too but yeah I totally get what you're describing. I also look very straight so people can't immediately tell. I hope you find a way to meet the kind of guy you like! I'm a lesbian and I too have had the same dilemma. Many people experience this, especially when they are first coming out. Stay strong and go to pride!
It will honestly empower you and you will have a greater chance of meeting gay friends that you can relate too. One of my local groups is just people hooking up. Or take advantage of gay magnetism and have your gay friends find you more gay friends. For me, I just naturally attract queer people. Would you be comfortable casually mentioning that you're gay? For example, mentioning some actress you have a crush on?
A place to meet other gay male redditors. Whether you're looking for a date, a gaming buddy, a friend with benefits, or just a hookup this is the. r/Gay is an + strong community of 10 years based on pride and support.** Keywords: gay, lesbian, LGBT, homosexual, gaybros.
That way you wouldn't be putting them on the spot at least. And if they are gay, they'll probably tell you once you tell them. If you're out and proud, other girls will probably find you.
Or would you be comfortable approaching the subject in a roundabout way, like, "Have you ever thought about kissing another girl? Out of curiosity, how did you discover you were a lesbian? And what was life like before that discovery? I've been intensely attracted to women since elementary school, so I have a hard time imagining what it means not to know your own sexuality. Don't apologize for the length. I asked because I wanted to know and I appreciate the detail.
It sounds like you tend to experience emotional attraction first and only experienced sexual attraction AFTER that first emotional trigger in college. Am I reading that right? I can see how it could take a long time to finally discover your attraction if that's the case.
For me it's almost the opposite; I tend to feel physically attracted right away, and that physical attraction makes me like women emotionally no matter how bland or even toxic their personalities might be. Anyway, I'm glad you figured it out. Better late than never, and six years really isn't that long anyway. That's a good way to put it.
I think most people are like you, where they first feel physical attraction and then emotional, which is why things like Tinder can be very helpful. Thank you for understanding! I have a mostly lesbian friend and her main problem is also the fact that she keeps seeing girls she likes but they're straight If they like you, it'll happen.
Their sexuality doesn't always matter unless they're straight up homophobic , I've seen a lot of straight guys fall for aggressive gay guys not aggressive as in touchy feely, but someone who really tries to make the other person like them back. Love's weird, bro. If you think about it, it's just meeting person after person, putting your best foot forward, and hoping it's enough to attract someone that you're also attracted with. Then hoping you're both attracted enough to last. Gender's just an unnecessary tag. And its okay if you are wrong - everyone has liked someone who doesn't like them back.
It's not fun, but since there is no universal sign for being interested you will just have to put yourself out there and accept some rejection. Unless its not safe to be wrong, but I assume thats not the case with you.
I mean as a straight dude, any time I tried online dating, I had gay dudes flooding my inbox. I think some some not all just take pop shots until they find someone. Are there any clubs or groups in your area that you can join or get involved in? My friend has met a lot of non straight folx through a feminist poetry slam night that happens at a coffee shop once a month.
Maybe look at something like that? It's the friendliest community online and you can pick up plenty of tips on this kinda thing. Reading your comments, you sound demisexual. Over-sexualized, hookups, etc It tends to be filled with people who primarily identify with their sexuality, so yeah.
I know as a straight guy I know when I have a connection with someone, eye contact, etc. I always assumed that gay people recognize other gay people who attracted to them in the same way. It was an absolute miracle I found my bf on Tinder. I'm not into the hook up scene either. Most guys stay clear from the bromance; with girls it must be very frustrating aha. The only advice I can offer is that you're out, friends may be able to keep a look out for you. What would happen if I died on this date?
What would you do with my body? Would you hold me until the ambulance arrived? Can I use cement to bury a body? Reminds me a little of the story "A Different Kind of Grindr" posted here 4th down.
Not sure if anyone's mentioned it here yet; it's really unsettling and always sticks with me. February in Chicago? Oh god no! That is extremely creepy! Nowadays I try to meet in public and get a good feel of a person before going home with him. An older guy hit me up looking for a good old midday session at his place. I arrive at the provided address, with hair, makeup, and costume on, to find a sprawling 5 bedroom dwelling along the river, with a perfectly manicured yard and the whole nine yards.
I went up to the door and he invited me in. We proceeded to have a nice chat, and then he gave me a full set of diamond jewelry and a fur to wear while we did the deed. Whatever, I've obliged stranger requests, I thought About 10 minutes in, we can hear the garage door open. Turns out, the power went out at his kids' school and the wife was out when she got the call to go collect them.
He proceeds to give me hurried instructions on how to find an exit without being detected before going to occupy his family. I get in my car and drive off, not even thinking of the monetary value that I just made off with. Fortunately, I was able to go over later that night to return his stuff, and he let me keep the earrings for my trouble. Really nice guy, all things considered.
I just imagine you instead of Jack Sparrow in that scene where he is running on the beach, away from the tribe. The condom one really hit me.